Please pray for my mom!

She had a partial knee replacement surgery today. The doctor said she done well and the hard part will be recovery. She will be in the hospital for two or three days before she can be released to go home. She wants to be out of there by the weekend because she swears you don't get as good of care over the weekend. Please pray that she does well and gets home soon!

Frustrated.......

with the process! I completely understand that everyone has to be paid at the end of the day but I feel like every corner we turn there's someone there with their hand out. We got word today that our homestudy has to now be updated. We will have the update fee with the social worker, a doctor visit fee for a physical, more lab work fees, fingerprint fees, and on and on. I realize in the end when we are holding our precious little guy it will be way worth it but today I'm just soo overwhelmed! All of this because he's due just 10 days past it's expiration. URGH!

Cautiously but anxiously waiting....

for December. Our birthmom, Jen, will be going to doctor's appointments bi-weekly from now on out since she's now in her third trimester. Last night I was in the nursery just looking through baby clothes and so forth to see what we had that could be used for him. I started packing up all of the girl clothes that would not be appopriate for him. We aren't going to do anything with them until we have received placement and the revocation period is up. It was a little sad to see the twin outfits that had been purchased especially for 'the twins'. It will just have to be a work in progress since we refuse to redecorate until we are 100% sure he will become part of our family. We aren't saying we won't take down the pink but we will keep it and not put back until after we are home. We feel like this is the best decision!

Ultrasound results..............

are BLUE!! Looks like he will be pretty in pink since that's all we have! LOL! Chad would pitch one more fit if I even went near him with a spec of pink. We think it will be nice to have a fresh start and get rid of those things that have such bad memories attached. We may start little by litlle trying to get rid of the major things and wait to repurchase until we are home with the lil man. We'll see! I'm just not to comfortable with the thought of going ahead and preparing again. It's hard to not get excited but I also believe it's good to try and guard our hearts to some degree. Come on December!

Spent Saturday........

at St. Simons fishing. We had an exciting time considering we actually caught something. We drove over for the day with another couple and fished the flats. We caught two fish (not sure what kind), a blue crab, an eel, and three sting rays. You would have thought that we were under attack by something unknown to man the way us girls reacted!

Are you ready for this? We are.......

REMATCHED!! YAY! We can't help but be excited. I received a call today at 1:20 on my cell letting us know that a birthmom has chosen us to parent her baby. She is due on December 16th. I always said I'd like a Christmas baby! Please pray that things will go smoothly for us this time and that we won't have to experience another heartache. We don't know if the baby will be a girl or boy but we should find out next week. She has a scheduled doctor's appointment for an ultrasound to determine the sex. We have also requested to see verification of the pregnancy and her medical records. They told us that it shouldn't be a problem. The coordinator has met with her and performed a pregnancy test that turned positive. Please, please, please let this be real!!

Looks like we are stuck........

working with the same agency. We got the response that no fees were going to be refunded but that they would uphold their orginal contract and rematch us with those fees we've already paid. We could file suet against them but it would drag things on for months with no end in sight. We need to move on from this and not risk losing anymore money. Trust is going to be an issue and things will just have to be done differently. Hopefully things will progress fast and we can have our family so that we can move forward with our lives. It seems this entire process has overcome us and become who we are. That is not what we wanted to happen!

As for Renay we are doing our part to try and make sure no one else is scarred by her. We sent in our statement along with a copy of the evidence we have. They are thinking that maybe they can file federal charges against her!

I Would Die For That

I ran across this video and thought it was amazing! I know that some people who frequent my blog can totally relate with this song as I can. Unfortunately this is a part of our life that we will always remember. I believe in a sense that infertility changes who we are and how we relate to certain things. I will never know what it's like to carry a biological child but hopefully by the grace of God we will know what it's like to be Mom and Dad. She done a great job of touching every avenue. I remember those days to well! Hope you enjoy!

Renay was not who we thought she was!

For those of you who don't know we got some very disturbing news last week to add to everything we've gone through the past five months. I received a phone call from the agency on Wendesday with an update. It appears we've been scammed!! Renay has done nothing but lie for months now and has robbed our dreams and several others of becoming parents. It appears it may go back as far as 2002. We are almost positive there are more that just aren't aware that it was never true. Renay is not and has not been pregnant this entire time. We are pretty sure she has NEVER been pregnant and that she has NO other children. Everything was a lie!! The first baby, the almost miscarrying that baby, the second baby, the cancer, and her changing her mind. She knew she had to do something because she couldn't produce any babies!! I'm furious and we are heartbroken once again that she has done this. We are upset that our agency didn't protect us from her. That's what an agency is for! They never once verified her pregnancy or any of her medical records as they told us they did.

There have been different variations of her story. Some couples were told it was a single pregnancy and some were told twins only to be told later that one passed away in the womb. I thank God she at least spared us of that misery. I have been exchanging emails with another lady whom Renay betrayed. Our stories are almost identical with minor changes here and there. They were told twins and are as prepared as we are. How can someone prey on people who can't have children and literally torture them for months? It's just extremely hard to comprehend! She only got $250 for maternity clothes but she stole our dreams, hopes, and tormented us emotionally! I feel as if she has even moved into our home since we have a completed nursery that constantly reminds me of what she done to our family!

BTW: If the two babies that we've loved in our hearts would have actually existed they would have been a month old today!

Not much to update

We really know nothing more than we did three weeks ago. The girls should have been a week old on Friday and Renay hasn't even sent word that they've been born and that everyone is ok. We would even like to know how Renay is doing. How her treatments are going and so forth. As the days progress I am growing more bitter with her decision to not give us any updates. We are not asking for continued contact. We only want to know that they were born and if they are in the NICU or what. I need answers so that I can try to find peace with her decision to parent. I feel lost these days. How do you go from preparing to bring home a precious baby to preparing to bring home two precious babies to such heartache? We have a completed nursery with no knowledge of when we may be able to fill it. Our contact with the agency has dwendled down to nothing unless we call with a question. We were told that we would be added back to their list of hopeful adoptive couples according to our application date. This really gives us NO comfort at this point! We need answers that I'm afraid we may never get!