We received the call yesterday that no adoptive parents EVER want to receive! The agency informed us that Renay has changed her mind and decided to parent the girls. We are extremely overwhelmed with saddness. It feels like they have died. I know that is not the case but my heart just aches. I know time will heal our pain and the baby that is meant for us will be sent our way but it's soo hard to let go. We have been matched with Renay for four long months now and had gotten to know her and her family so well. This pain is worse than any negative pregnancy test or negative beta we ever received! I feel like I'm having the worst nightmare of my life and I'm ready to wake up.
For those of you who are learning about this here on the blog I apologize! It's been very hard for me to tell anyone. I couldn't even tell Chad. I had the agency to call him and send him over to my work to pick me up. Then he phoned parents and grandparents so that I didn't have to place the calls. I know he's hurting to and I know it was hard for him as well. Thank you Chad and I love you!
15 comments:
Oh honey... I am so sorry. I know what it is like to lose something so important, and no words I can say will make it any better. Please know that I am praying for you and Chad. Hugs and Love, ag (onemorebaby from NW)
Daniel, Anna and I love you both so much. We are so sorry and so sad. We are praying for you ALL
Love,
Julie
I am so sorry to hear this news. I am praying for you guys and I have added you to our prayer list at church. You will both be in my thoughts. Hugs, Angela (angnjake from NW)
Amanda & Chad, we all love you so much. I know your hearts are broken at this time. Ours are too. We are all so saddened by this. Please remember we love you and know this is not your doing. We just pray Emma and Ella will be in God's hands. You know, God see's the big picture and we only see the here and now. I believe when God shuts one door, he opens another. Please don't allow this to shatter your faith. You two are very special to all of us at Dakota. Please allow us to love you and mourn with you. Call me anytime day or night if there is anything I can do. I love you both so much.
Jackie & Allen
I've been following your story as I am an adoptive parent. I am so sorry for your heartache, I know exactly how it feels. My husband and I had twins placed with us at birth and six weeks later their birthmother changed her mind and wanted to parent. The hardest thing we ever had to do in our life was hang these precious babies back to their birthmother. But good things follow. Don't lose faith or give up hope. We have since adopted two more children and now we can look back and realize, had the adoption with the twins finalized, we wouldn't have the two wonderful children we have now. My prayers and thoughts are with all of you! Believe... happy hearts will follow your broken hears.
Hugs from a stranger.
I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I have read your blog for some time now and hurt along with you.
(((HUGS)))
Oh, I am just heartsick for you all tonight. I am so so sorry. I'd love to email you some other thoughts, I'll see if I can find that on your profile.
Amanda and Chad: Words cannot express the deep sorrow I feel for you tonight. Please know I am praying for you. Check in with BBC when you feel up to it.
Hugs,
Coral
Holy cow! I don't even know you (though I did once know an Amanda Pritchard in TN), but that made tears come to my ears! I'm sooooo sorry! :(:(
I found this journal on bbc. I am so sorry.
Mandy and Chad - I'm so sad for you and your families. When you said it felt like the twins had died, it very powerfully expressed your deep loss. We don't know each other, but I'm on the board w/Coral and just had to send you some hugs.
Karen
Oh, this is so devastating. I'm a stranger, but my heart aches for both of you. Your family is in our prayers.
Christine
Amanda and Chad - I am an adoption professional, but (unknown to most) also the biological mother to a baby boy that was adopted 9 years ago. My pregnancy wasn't planned and I was not emotionally or financially prepared to care for a child. So I decided to place my baby with a WONDERFUL adoptive family through a private adoption.
Though I never had doubts about my decision, and did not change my mind, the birth mother of their older daughter DID. She changed her mind at the hospital after the family had held their new, precious daughter. A few weeks later, the birth mother came to her senses and signed physical and legal custody to the adoptive family. The adoption went through without a hitch.
My point is, stay strong. Keep praying. Renay may come to her senses once the babies are here and she realizes that she's in over her head. Keep your faith, and remember that God ALWAYS has a plan.
Oh my gosh, Amanda. I feel so terrible for you. I haven't been active in the blog world lately, and I'm just now reading this. Our first match was with Adoption Advantage, too, and it also fell through. I just want to let you know that I would love to be able to talk if you need to. I think you have my email, but if you don't it's karalee_stockman@hotmail.com
I am sending all my hugs and prayers to you right now. It is a loss that nobody can truly understand until you've been there. I'm praying for you and chad!
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